Childhood’s over the moment you know you’re gonna die. -Top Dollar, The Crow
On the 14th I posted about attending Viper’s last game which generated a lot of melancholy for me. Somewhat related to the fact that we’re missing some friends from our games these days, and the changes that have come about in the games, but also because of the personal tragedies many of us have experienced over the past two years. Worldwide lockdowns, a slowdown of the entire planet’s economy, entire countries halting most work, and many, many, people we know and love passing from this world to the next. Aside from jsut being an old man in a young man’s body for many years, my family hasn’t been immune to the tragedies at hand either.
Den letzten Weg musst du alleine geh’n Ein letztes Lied, ein letzter Kuss Kein Wunder wird gescheh’n Adieu, goodbye, auf wiedersehen Die Zeit mit dir war schön Rammstein, Adieu
After the game, I headed back to Dallas for a night and then down to South Texas to stay with family. One of my relatives has been diagnosed with a degenerative condition which is incurable and progressing rapidly so I came to spend time with them. Quite likely this will be the last time I see them alive in person.
Growing up this extended family member was very close to my family. Like many of us I thought they would be invincible and live forever. Just like my parents and the rest of the family and our friends. Even attending the funeral and wake of one of my father’s co-workers and other extended family, it was never something that would affect me. And then as I got older I discovered that this wasn’t the case, much to my melancholy. I suspect we all grow up thinking that those we love, know, and tolerate are invincible. And then the first domino in a long line of them falls. If we’re extremely fortunate the first domino happens when we’re too young to realize what’s happening or we are much older. But once that first domino falls, our first loved one is no longer with us, we know that at some point we will also die.
When we’re young everything takes forever and we can’t wait to get to that next milestone. Elementary school, middle school, high school, senior year, old enough to drink, whatever. And then childhood ends; we know we’re going to die. And that’s when the reality sets in and, some of us anyway, learn that while we’ve been looking ahead we really should have been looking at now and enjoying what’s happening now.